my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
