Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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