So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My room smells like vodka and shame
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
