hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
