yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
