drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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