he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
dude. I can hear the air.
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