how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
