Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
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By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
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It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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