Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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