bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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