I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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