The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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