I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
it's great music for shaving your balls
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
