god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
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We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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