May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
