She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
