is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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