She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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