He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
