Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
