The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
