So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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