Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize