you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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