Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
