The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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