my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
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