Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
