Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
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stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
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We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!