my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says