Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
third nipple confirmed
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.