I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize