Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?

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  (586): dear santa what can i do with your candy cane? http://tfl.nu/evo0
  Replies (2) Good night (997) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them

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  (760): i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them http://tfl.nu/jlgr
  Replies (7) Good night (467) Bad night (1609) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling

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  (617): i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling http://tfl.nu/51p6
  Replies (17) Good night (3380) Bad night (761) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.

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  (443): Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality. http://tfl.nu/y8py
  Replies (8) Good night (3383) Bad night (682) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in

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  (732): no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in http://tfl.nu/h08n
  Replies (6) Good night (5511) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man

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  (405): Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man http://tfl.nu/vdn4
  Replies (9) Good night (4596) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?

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  (617): We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in? http://tfl.nu/ejnj
  Replies (25) Good night (6662) Bad night (1538) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.

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  (785): U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r. http://tfl.nu/crq7
  Replies (4) Good night (2699) Bad night (993) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life

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  (708): i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life http://tfl.nu/nn4z
  Replies (32) Good night (1816) Bad night (5825) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?

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  (901): I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter? http://tfl.nu/wyo3
  Replies (6) Good night (1424) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.

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  (626): So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential. http://tfl.nu/3n2i
  Replies (5) Good night (2584) Bad night (465)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE

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  (416): I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE http://tfl.nu/e7i8
  Replies (6) Good night (478) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.

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  (601): Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions. http://tfl.nu/sp7r
  Replies (14) Good night (387) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.

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  (704): Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water. http://tfl.nu/djc8
  Replies (2) Good night (768) Bad night (233) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult

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  (718): With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult http://tfl.nu/nn1s
  Replies (7) Good night (549) Bad night (215) Order T-Shirt

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