Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.

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  (727): I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut. http://tfl.nu/wfck
  Replies (126) Good night (1480) Bad night (3874)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that

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  (917): Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that http://tfl.nu/jdka
  Replies (6) Good night (5614) Bad night (663)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"

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  (218): you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey" http://tfl.nu/pjur
  Replies (24) Good night (6577) Bad night (1376)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?

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  (813): So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell? http://tfl.nu/9wrt
  Replies (37) Good night (6535) Bad night (1902)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee

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  (231): We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee http://tfl.nu/m4t7
  Replies (33) Good night (1480) Bad night (4281)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special

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  (941): I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special http://tfl.nu/g9sh
  Replies (11) Good night (5882) Bad night (1082)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night

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  (+44): Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night http://tfl.nu/2ujl
  Replies (2) Good night (2092) Bad night (1032)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.

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  (330): Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car. http://tfl.nu/8rap
  Replies (6) Good night (2646) Bad night (866)
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  (209): View more from California

  We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.

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  (209): We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela. http://tfl.nu/h3z9
  Replies (3) Good night (891) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I won't be able to get a boner for a month

  (916): View more from California

  Challenge accepted.

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  (831): I won't be able to get a boner for a month (916): Challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/ivke
  Replies (3) Good night (1340) Bad night (395)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow

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  (787): Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow http://tfl.nu/puo2
  Replies (1) Good night (485) Bad night (354)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm honored.

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  (712): I don't question myself. That's what I have you for. (402): I'm honored. http://tfl.nu/7y62
  Replies (3) Good night (664) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??

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  (608): He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case?? http://tfl.nu/iqff
  Replies (4) Good night (344) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?

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  (208): Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess? http://tfl.nu/auqt
  Replies (6) Good night (838) Bad night (243)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW

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  (615): Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived. (615): BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW http://tfl.nu/97uu
  Replies (4) Good night (458) Bad night (412)

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