I think my fart just growled at me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
