First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
