forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Dear god my vagina.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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