I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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