I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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