I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
my poor anus
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
