I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
