i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
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the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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