I'm going to rape someone's good day.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
