fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
