i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
