I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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