dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize