No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
