I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
