just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
