When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
