Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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