If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
