i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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