Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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