The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
