so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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