we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
