The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
