I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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