You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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