and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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